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For couples experiencing communication problems in their relationships, Heather Jensen of All Women Stalk lists 7 ways you can work it out with your partner.
1.
Realize your relationship has a problem: The first step to repairing any communication problems in your relationship is actually realizing that your #relationship has a problem. Trust me, it is hard to admit it in the #beginning, but once you do, you'll feel so much better. So, how do you communicate with your Better Half? Does the communication flow free? Think about it!
2.
Talk a lot: One of the biggest barriers that #people experience when they are dealing with communication problems is the fact that they don't talk. When they do talk, they typically fight. So ladies, if you want to work out your problems with communication, you have to talk them out and actually coordinate some #time to have a conversation with your boyfriend!
3.
Try a different approach: So nagging and yelling hasn't worked right? Well, why not try a different approach? Trust me, it'll work better and you could always just see if your #boyfriend responses in a different way. For me, the best approach is keeping my attitude and my anger in check.
4.
Seek help: Just because you are in a relationship and you are happy doesn't mean that your communication is the best in the #world. If you are having communication problems that don't seem to be getting better, it might be #time to seek some professional help. Just because you head to therapy doesn't mean that you are horrible and aren't right for one another, it just means that you need some help to work on your #relationship.
5.
Do not talk over each other: The biggest thing that I had to learn when I first got into a #relationship was not talking over my Better Half. If you're having communication problems, it's probably because you aren't listening to one another. Take a couple seconds out and really open your ears, instead of trying to get your point across.
6.
Do not get angry: Just because you aren't communicating the best, doesn't mean that you have to get frustrated. Instead, keep your anger in check and I can problem that it'll be that much better for your #relationship and you won't have nearly as many fights.
7.
Keep calm: Finally ladies, make sure that no matter what, you stay calm. Blowing up just because of something that your #man says isn't the way to get his attention, or the way to get your point across. Instead, just make sure that you stay calm, cool and collected. Also listen to him. Remember that tip from above? Do it, just listen and you'll be surprised by how much of a difference that makes!
Man has always placed great importance on the size of his penis.
Many cultures associate penis size with masculinity. Throughout the ages, it has come to symbolise qualities such as virility, fertility, strength, ability and courage.
Some men go to extreme lengths to try to increase the size of their penis. Indian mystics known as Sadhus have been known to stretch their penis from an early age by hanging weights on it, while the Topinama tribesmen of Brazil encouraged poisonous snakes to bite their penis to enlarge it.
Feeling inadequate can really damage a man's self-confidence and affect his social life. It can lead to issues from being unable to use public urinals or shared shower rooms, to avoiding intimate relationships.
Companies around the world have exploited this anxiety, selling pills, penis extenders and other penis enlargement products that promise to "increase the length and girth of your manhood fast, or your money back!"
Measuring your penis
Most men's view about their penis is formed during childhood. Growing up, they may see the penis of an older brother, friend or their father and mentally compare this to their own.
Fears and anxiety about penis size may also arise after taunts from other people during adolescence or following remarks from a sexual partner.
However, men often have the wrong perspective on their penis, says sexual health expert Dr David Delvin. "When you look down at your own organ, it seems shorter than it really is," he says. "In contrast, when you glance around at other guys in changing rooms or showers, you get a sideways view of them. So they usually seem to be longer than you are."
To see your penis as other people would, look at yourself undressed in front of a full-length mirror. The penis looks longer and larger than when observed from above.
At some stage, most boys get out a ruler or a tape measure to find out how long their penis is. Dr Delvin says there's little point in doing this when the penis is limp because the length of a flaccid penis can vary a lot, for example depending on how cold the room is.
To get a precise measurement, do it when you have an erection. Take the measurement from the base of the penis on the side nearer to the tummy, up to the tip, where the hole is.
Average penis size
There are no average length figures for teenagers because people grow at different rates.
For adults, the average penis size is about 14-16cm (5.5-6.3 inches) when erect. The average girth for an erect penis is 12-13cm (4.7-5.1 inches).
A penis would only be considered unusually small if it was less than 3 inches (7.6cm) long when erect.
The measurements are based on a review of 50 studies on penis size conducted since 1942, which between them have measured 11,531 penises.
The review was carried out by Professor Kevan Wylie, a consultant in sexual medicine at the University of Sheffield.
There is large variation in the angle of an erect penis. Some erect penises point straight up, others straight down. Some have a slight bend to the left or right. There is no right shape. If you have a more significant bend in your penis that may cause you pain or difficulty having sex, see your GP. Sometimes, these can be symptoms of Peyronie's disease.
Each penis is unique and boys develop at different ages and rates. During puberty, usually between the ages of 11 and 18, the penis and testicles develop more rapidly, although the penis doesn't stop growing until the age of 21.
Men unsatisfied
Regardless of actual size, many men are still unhappy with the size of their manhood.
Professor Wylie's report examined the results of an internet-based survey of more than 50,000 men and women, which revealed that 45% of men would like a larger penis. His report concluded that excessive concerns about penis size were higher among men with average-sized penises than men with small ones.
What women think
Professor Wylie's report also found differences between what women and men think. A much higher percentage of women (85%) were satisfied with their partner's penis size than the percentage of men (55%) who were satisfied with their own penis size.
According to Professor Wylie, the issue of attractiveness to women is complex. However, most studies suggest that penis size is much lower down the list of priorities for women than such issues as a man's personality and grooming.
Professor Wylie says: "It may come as a surprise to some young men, but most women have very little interest in the size of their penis and that's been shown in numerous studies over time."
He says research shows that when it comes to sex, women are much more interested in whether you are romantic, tender and sensitive to their needs and desires than your penis size.
If you're still worried
Counselling has proven to be beneficial for men with penis anxiety. Therapy helps patients identify and correct any distorted views about their penis, build self-confidence and overcome fears about sexual relationships.
Professor Wylie says: "Therapy allows these men to overcome their anxiety about meeting a potential partner, where before they wouldn't even dare engage because of their fear."
Find out more about what a sex therapist does.
Numerous physical treatments claim to increase penis size, but there is very little evidence that these work.
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My panel featured the Janks Morton film, "Hoodwinked," and focused on finding solutions for black male educational achievement. I was happy to see that the place was packed.
But shortly after I spoke with Demetria, a young woman asked me an interesting question: "I didn't have a man in the house growing up, so I'm trying to understand how men work. What's the secret to keeping a man happy?"
1) Listening to him: A good woman is an armchair psychologist and confidant who helps a man to vent and share things that he can't tell his male friends. Most men don't want to hear their homeboy cry or become especially moody. If he can release with you, he will love you that much more. The art of listening is sometimes overwhelmed by the desire to interrupt your partner and do all the talking. This is sure to make him either shut down or fight for airspace; neither of these outcomes work for you.
2) Support him: Whether a man is trying to start a business or ride a rocket to the moon, the great woman by his side is very important. If you are a constant dream killer or ignore your man's passion, you're making the relationship an impediment to achieving his goals, rather than something that helps him to get there. You don't want him to have to choose between you and his dream, because for most ambitious men, you're going to lose (I've made this choice myself on several occasions).
3) Be nice: We all have our ups and downs, but a nasty woman doesn't get very far with a nice guy. Interpret this however you want, but a woman with a smile can go a lot further with men than one who always finds something wrong. It doesn't mean that you can't be critical, but being unnecessarily critical is a surefire path to relationship destruction.
4) Se xual needs: Ignoring a person's needs is a great way to get betrayed. Human beings are more responsive to the things they need than to things they want or should have. So, a man might WANT a long-term relationship and SHOULD be happily faithful. But if a person's needs aren't being met, then you're sure to have problems.
Of course we know that men can get what they want to paying attention to the needs of women, but that's not what we're talking about right now. The point is that if you want something from another party (s ex, marriage, love, etc.), you're always better off figuring out what they need and giving it to them. You must also give them something that THEY value, and not something that YOU BELIEVE they should value. So, you might be the prettiest and most accomplished woman on earth, but that may mean nothing to a man who wants a woman who supports him.
That's my two cents for today, happy hunting.
It might be hard to fathom that men could hate any s ex position, but, in fact, some do.
Of course, "hate" is a rather strong choice of word (let's amend that, shall we?), but for many men, just as with many women, there are some se x positions out there that they can just completely do without.
And, from what I've gathered, most of those dreaded positions are in the pages of your closest Cosmo magazine. Are you surprised? (No!)
But in all seriousness, there are very few perfect s ex positions that everyone, all men and all women, truly love. Each body is different from the next in the way they're made and how they respond to pleasure, and once you throw in kinky tendencies and overall preferences, it's hard to say that one position, in particular, is the greatest, most exciting position of all, for everyone. Since that's the case for the good positions, the same logic goes for least favorite ones. Simply: one man's "most awful" is another man's "most awesome."
I talked to a handful of guys about se x positions and which ones they couldn't be even less thrilled about if they tried. Here's what they had to say.
1.Standing Up
"I can do without standing up… or to be precise, standing up, facing each other. Standing up from behind is awesome, but standing up facing one another is too much work for too little payoff. Unless you are like superhumanly strong and the girl weighs 90 pounds it's not fun," says Gordon, 35.
2. Cowgirl With Excessive Bouncing
"I love when a woman is on top and knows how to work it. But, full disclosure, nothing scares me more than when a woman starts bouncing really high and up off my penis. It's in those situations that I fear she'll come back down, miss getting it in the hole, then I'll end up with a broken penis," says Matthew, 29.
3. Her Sitting On My Face
"I love to go down on a girl, but what I don't love is the whole sitting on my face thing. I know most of my friends really love it, and maybe I'm just doing it wrong, but I can never breathe, she's never relaxed, and I'd rather give her oral in any other position," says Henry, 32.
4. Spoon Position
"I hate the spoon position. Maximum friction between the sheets and both of you is the most awkward work-wise (especially if you're roughly the same height.) And what do you do with the arm of the side you're lying on? The arm thing always throws me. Worst part of all, I can picture how it looks in the third-person, and the whole thing is just so comical that I end up losing focus and laughing, which is the one true boner cure," says Stuart, 30.
5. Leaning Back Mid-Reverse Cow Girl
OK, let me explain myself: I love reverse cowgirl. But what I don't love is when a girl is doing reverse cowgirl and she decides to lean back against me (maybe she's tired?), and I'm forced to imagine my penis snapping right off at the base. If she's tired, I respect that, but I'd rather we separate as opposed to she using me as a mattress while I'm still inside her," says Michael, 29.
6.Missionary
"It's just boring for me. While I like to be able to see her face, it doesn't really do anything for me. I can never come in missionary, so I let her enjoy it from that position, then move on to something else that I prefer. I know I'm not the only guy who says doggy always does it for me," says Nic, 27.
7. Anything "Too" Complicated
Collectively, all the guys I talked to agreed that if it's something out of a fancy shmancy Karma Sutra type book, they're pretty sure they're not going to like it. As Michael pointed it, "If it's from the Karma Sutra or something she read in Cosmo, I know I'm going to pull a muscle, throw out my back, and find myself in some yoga position that I'll never be able to untangle from."
1. Wearing a bra that doesn't fit
This habit is more common that one would think. Most bras are made of flexible materials, and over time with normal wear, they will eventually stretch out. But the bra's primary purpose is to give support. Wearing an ill-fitting bra can contribute to breast sagging as the more your breast bounces around, the more stressed breast skin and collagen become. You need to figure out what your bra size is, so that the cups adequately hold your breasts. About 80% of women are wearing a bra that is not their perfect fit, so make sure you get measured, or try them on at the store for fit, before buying.
2.Smoking
This ladies should avoid because it makes the skin lose its natural elasticity, which causes the breasts to drop. It reduces the amount of collagen in the skin and worsens the blood circulation. This makes the skin become weaker and age faster.
3.Extreme dieting
Having a balanced diet is very important to the health of your breasts, but extreme dieting that makes you lose vast amounts of weight quickly, only to put it back on later, puts a strain on your skin tissue. Repeatedly losing and gaining weight has been shown to make your breasts drop. The skin tissue stretches to accommodate the weight gain, but it can't indefinitely snap back into place when the weight comes back off again. So try to maintain a steady weight or a proper nutrition in a healthy, sustainable way.
4. Forgetting About Sun Protection
Breasts, and cleavage in particular, can get burnt easily and they absorb their share of the sun's UV rays. This can damage the skin, make it wrinkle and age prematurely. Protect yourself from the sun and don't over-expose your skin.
5.Not exercising and adopting bad posture
It's important to exercise and keep your chest muscles strong. However, some back-and-forth repetitive motions (like in running) can make your breasts go saggy, as they breakdown breast collagen. Make sure you support your breasts during a high-impact exercise session and pay attention to your posture throughout the day. Walk straight and make your breasts stand up proudly.
By avoiding these everyday habits, you can do your part in keeping your breasts young-looking for as long as possible.
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1. Every p*nis was a clitoris. Every p*nis in the womb starts as a clitoris before hormones 's*x' the brain of the to-be male. The man-hood retains the mark of its female heritage: its dark underskin and the thin ridge or seam, known as the raphe, which runs from scrotum to anus, are remnants of the fusion of the vaginal lips.
2. Penises used to have spines. Though they were lost before Neanderthals and modern humans diverged. Scientists are still not quite certain of their purpose, but they speculate that it apparently quickened the pace of an erection and is more common in promiscuous species (such as cats).
3. Fetuses can have erections! Male fetuses can have erection during the third trimester, according to ultrasound scans.
4. No brain is necessary for ejaculation: the order to release comes from the spinal cord, not the brain.
5. King of ancient tribes ate p*nises: In ancient tribes, the king would often eat the p*nis of his predecessor to apparently absorb his holy power. This practice was allegedly banned by the ancient Hebrews.
6. Testifying on testicles: In pre-biblical times, men would swear on their own p*nises. The word "testify" is derived from a Roman legal practice of swearing on one's testicles. The word "man-hood" comes from the Latin word for "tail".
7. "Shaved" guardians in Muslim empires: In great Muslim empires, there would be a guardian assigned to each harem's bed. The guardians had to be "shaved," which meant having his testicles and p*nis removed.
8. King Fatefehi of Tonga: between the years of 1770 and 1784, he apparently deflowered 37,800 women.
9. Diphallus is a rare condition that affects one in 5-6 million males. It's when a man is born with two p*nises. Unfortunately, it's rare that both are fully functional, and it often comes in tandem with other deformities that also require surgery.
10. P*nises can actually break: Every year, hundreds of men break their erect p*nis, researchers say. Most do so during "violent intercourse." But there are also cases where men snap their member – indeed, specialists note that such incidents are accompanied by an audible crack – by falling out of bed with an erection. The cure for a broken man-hood? Six weeks of bed rest with a man-hood splint.
11. Smoking can shorten your man-hood by as much as a centimeter. Erections are all about good bloodflow, and lighting up calcifies blood vessels, stifling erectile circulation.
12. The foreskin has an abundance of Langerhans cells, which are immune cells that are infiltrated by HIV. This may explain why circumcised men in Africa have a 60% lower rate of HIV infection from heterosexual intercourse.
13. A healthy male averages 11 erections per day-nine of them while asleep. After ejaculating, it can take him anywhere from two minutes to two weeks to achieve another erection.
14. From shower to grower: On average, a limp man-hood will increase in volume 300% when it is erect. It will also contain more than eight to ten times its normal amount of blood.
15. Jonah Falcon, a 42-years-old man with a 9-inch man-hood (22.86 cm; 13.5 inches, or over 34 cm when hard). He's the man with the world's largest p*nis.
16. Animals with the biggest and smallest p*nises: the Blue Whale is the animal with the biggest recorded p*nis to date, at 8 feet (over 2 m) long. The adult male elephant has the biggest recorded p*nis for land animals, at 6 feet (1.8288 m, and S-shaped when erect). And coming in with the smallest man-hood is the shrew, at .2 inches (0.5 cm).
17. Koro, a culture-specific syndrome, where a man (or a woman) is overcome with a debilitating fear that his p*nis (or her nipples) is shrinking and will eventually disappear. Interestingly, this fear is borne out of no real proof or evidence. It is also known as "man-hood panic" and has been said to provoke mass hysteria.
18. Semen can cure depression: Apparently, semen contains chemicals that elevate mood, increase affection, induce sleep, and contain at least three antidepressants. It also contains cortisol, which is known to increase affection; as well as estrone, which elevates mood; oxytocin, which also elevates mood; thyrotropin-releasing hormone, which is another antidepressant; melatonin, which is a sleep aid; and serotonin, which is a well-known antidepressant neurotransmitter.
To get any marriage to flourish, invite God to be a part of it. God will do all he can to help your marriage. All that is required of you is to ask him for it. These nine things you can plead to God for in prayer that can help your marriage.
1. God's guidance
Not only does God see the bigger picture, but he knows your heart and the heart of your companion. He knows what both of you need and what you desire. He knows your weaknesses and your strengths. He knows your thoughts and your motivations.
God has all the knowledge you need to help your marriage. If you ask for his guidance, he can help you know the steps to take to help strengthen your relationship with your spouse. Ask for God's guidance and listen to his spirit before making your decisions.
2. An increase of strength
You do not have to rely on your own strength to withstand the difficulties that may come in a marriage. God strengthens and helps you accomplish whatever task is required. He can give you the courage to have a difficult conversation, the strength to care for an ill spouse, and the ability to overcome heartache. God can give you the strength to rise above whatever conflicts or trials make their way into your marriage.
3. An understanding heart
Many conflicts arise in marriage because of a lack of understanding. It is difficult to put ourselves in the place of another because we are not them. We do not think like they do and we have not had the experiences that have shaped their perceptions. Because of this, it is important that when we are asking God for help, we ask him to give us an understanding heart. We need the ability to understand our spouse so we are more able to relate to them.
4. Wisdom
Wisdom is not just having knowledge; it's being able to make good judgments. Because we are human, we are constantly making judgments. Sometimes, those judgments are unfair because they are based on our perceptions rather than actual reality.
In marriage, it is important that we gather all the facts before we make any judgment calls. This requires real communication with your spouse where you're not afraid to be honest and open with one another. Open communication will give you knowledge and as you pray for wisdom, you will be able to use that knowledge to make good and fair judgments calls.
5. A spirit of peace
Contention can destroy any marriage. Asking God for a spirit of peace will help give you the ability to face conflict without the contention. It will give you the desire to correct the problem without wanting to seek revenge or hurt your partner. When you face contention with a spirit of peace, you're better at listening. You also give your companion the same opportunity.
6. A disposition to see good
When you are living with someone, it is easy to start seeing all their faults. It is difficult, however to see the good qualities of a person if you are constantly focusing on the bad. Ask God to help you see the good in your spouse. The good qualities become your focus and the things that annoy you tend to get smaller and smaller. Just like the lens on a camera, what you are focused on becomes your reality.
7. An attitude of gratitude
Showing gratitude for your spouse is one of the greatest things you can do for them. Everyone loves to feel important to someone and as you show your gratitude for your spouse, you are letting them see exactly what they mean to you. Ask God to help you show gratitude, not only for who they are, but for what they do for you. Not only will you strengthen your relationship, but you will live a happier life.
8. A willingness to forgive
In every marriage, there are going to be times when your spouse is going to do something that you are going to have to forgive him for. There are also going to be times when you are going to require the same forgiveness from him. The truth is, if you want your spouse to forgive your weaknesses, it is important that you are willing to forgive his. Forgiving is not always easy, but if you ask God for help, you will have the ability to forgive and to be forgiven.
9. The capacity to love
Love keeps your marriage together. When everything around you seems to be falling apart, it is the love that you share with your spouse that will help you keep things together. You can overcome every obstacle together as long as there is love between you. When your marriage starts to struggle, ask God, above all, to help you love your spouse. If you feel the love is gone, ask God to help you get it back. Love doesn't just help the world go round; love is the heart of marriage.
God is ready and willing to help your marriage. With his help, you can not only strengthen your marriage, but you can change your life, and he's only a prayer away.
But there are some serious advantages to marrying young.
We're a bit biased when it comes to discussing the ideal age for marriage — primarily because we were married when both of us were the ripe old age of 21. We were so mature, so established in life, so ready to be married … Okay, not really. But we were confident, determined and in love. With no clue what lay ahead, we committed with all our hearts to sharing our lives together.
We recognize that there are plenty of people still searching for that "special someone." If that happens to be you, please don't get discouraged. Do what you can now to better yourself and prepare for your own marriage — whenever that time comes.
That being said, here are three legit reasons to marry young.
1. You quickly learn that money is not the key to happiness
Most couples who marry young start out with little to nothing — and that might even be an understatement. The fact is, when you marry young, neither spouse has had time to accumulate much of anything when it comes to wealth or financial stability. It's quite possible that, on the day of your wedding, you'll be able to fit all your worldly possessions in the trunk of your beater car and count all your savings using just your fingers and toes.
And believe it or not, that's to your advantage.
Not only do dire financial circumstances teach you very valuable financial lessons (like scrimping, saving and living on a budget), but they also teach you the timeless principle that money cannot buy happiness. When you first marry, you won't have a big house to come home to, a fancy car to drive or even many groceries in the refrigerator, but you will have your love for each other — and that love will make you feel truly rich.
2. You aren't too entrenched in your own habits
Getting married is a huge change, and there are many lessons to learn. Though madly in love, you and your spouse are still two very different people with very different ways of doing things. Married life is very different from single life.
When you marry young, you aren't as deeply entrenched in your own habits and ways of doing things. As a result, the transition to married life is much smoother. Rather than b*tting heads over whether to buy 1% or 2% milk or how to properly wash the dishes (or any of the million other petty things couples argue about), you and your spouse will establish your own habits and ways of doing things together. By marrying young, the transition to married life doesn't feel so much like an encroachment on your personal space or an infringement on your privacy.
3. You grow closer together by growing up together
We look back at our wedding pictures and think we look like babies. And we were young! The fact is, when we got married, we still had a lot of growing up to do (and still do). But as we've matured in all aspects of life, we've also grown closer together. We've had to learn hard lessons together. We've had to work through tough challenges together — but we've been together, side by side through it all. We have shared more memories, more life together.
Together, you and your spouse will apply for programs in school, study late into the night for exams, earn degrees, move from coast to coast or even across the world for internships and jobs. You'll learn to be parents, you'll enjoy summer vacations to the beach or the mountains, you'll move and buy your first home … The list goes on. Marrying young allows you and your sweetheart to write the early chapters of your lives together so you can better understand and shape the rest of your story.
A new study conducted among 900 men and women has found that kissing plays a crucial role in human courtship because it alerts us to "hidden biological cues indicating the genetic fitness or desirability of a potential mate".
And here are the rules:
Check your breath
We know, discussing hygiene takes the punch out of passion, but this is elementary. If your mouth smells foul, you've lost round one even before you've begun. Which is why you have toothbrushes, mouthwash gargles and mint chewing gum. Keep your teeth, gums and breath healthy. While this applies to both sexes, it's especially vital for men, because research has proved that women depend on taste and smell in mate evaluation.
Judge timing
Circumstance is a player, and context is key. Pick the right moment. Is your partner keen to kiss you too? Will they allow you into their personal space? It's best if you run an easy test. Deliver a friendly peck on her neck or lift the hair out of her face. If she doesn't recoil, the signal's green.
Focus on the job
There will always be distractions, but a good kisser is one who shuts out the universe and stays in the moment. Feel your breath mix with your partner's. And relax. Your lips can't be tense. And keep the pressure balanced. If it's too light, you may come across as lukewarm. If you push too hard, you are uncouth.
Use your imagination
Kissing is an important step in foreplay, but you needn't make it obvious that it's a means to an end. It can't be mechanical. And hit erogenous zones besides the lips. For men, it varies from the nape of the neck and back of knees to even nibbling of the ears. For the ladies, a kiss on the inner thighs and a caress of the wrists are equally turning on.
Match rhythm
Stellar kisses have gradations. They vary in spend and pressure. They vary from gentle to passionate, with a pause taken in between for breathing. React and reply to your lover's lip cues. Lead aggressively when they let up; be the patient recipient when they are in the mood to play choreographer. Remember to catch your partner's eye in a while. It can get annoying to have someone pinch their eyelids shut each time they kiss. It helps build an emotional connect.
Watch your hands
Use your hands. A kisser who moves nothing but the lips comes across as frozen. But be aware of where they are going. Clutching him/her by the waist close to your groin suggests you mean business. Touching the chin gently or fiddling with the other's fingers is about playfulness. Holding them firmly by the neck could mean, "This one's going to take a while". Before you allow them to stray anywhere else, make sure you are in a position to take liberties. Ferociously clutching a clump of hair isn't permissible, unless it's S&M you've planned.
Debate tongue use
Some believe tongue use must end when you earn your graduation degree, but there are those who swear by its power. This one's tricky and will take practice. No one likes being suffocated with a tongue shoved down the larynx, so make sure your tongue doesn't exit your mouth. Meeting the other at 'gates' is fine. The lick can come to good use, especially when you run your tongue over your lover's slightly parted lips.
