The Sad Truth About Virginity And How It Affects Marriage

Growing up, a woman's virginity was such a big issue and a high value was placed on it.

From time immemorial, a woman's virginity has been seen as one of her most prized possessions and a certain respect was accorded to any woman who remained a virgin till marriage.
But with modernization came a new school which places less value on a woman's virginity. These days, virginity is even seen as a curse. Girls have no qualms losing it to the first man that comes their way.

In the days of old, a maiden was expected to go into marriage as a virgin. If on the first night after the marriage her husband discovered she was not a virgin, her family gets instant condemnation.

But civilization has substantially changed the way people perceive virginity. Today, there's so much pressure on girls to gain s*xual experience before getting married as some men do not want to marry a woman with no s*xual experience.

Most girls who have friends that are already sexually active feel left out when they are discussing their experiences, hence the urge to also experiment for themselves.

Virgins are really very scarce these days as majority loose it even before the age of 20. Some girls even compete among themselves who would be the first to lose her virginity.

But what is the big deal about virginity? Could it be the secret to a happy marriage?

Let's take a look at some of the answers given by some Naij.com readers.

According to Ella Ada Obani, being a virgin does not guarantee a happy marriage but it earns trust. "You might be a virgin, but ur attitude and character is zero," she adds.

Owomoyela Abimbola Hanna said: " Yes it does, because the bible doesn't support s*x before marriage. And whenever we do things according to the will of God, we live a happy and fulfilled life ."

"It pays to be a virgin. If you are a virgin when you pray, God answers you speedily because you have kept yourself pure.

Secondly, it is only a foolish man or a 'man dog' that does not have value for a virgin. Do you know what it cost a lady to preserv e her indecency for just one man? Any husband that happens to be the first to drink from the cistern of his wife should count himself blessed. 2yrs ago, Imo state government was giving out cars to serving female corpers that got married as virgin. Let us teach our children to uphold their virginity. Your virginity is your pride ," Ebony Celestine said.

Anekwe Nkechi believes that some girls are still virgin in 20's but it has nothing to do with happiness in marriage. She explains that some virgins find it difficult to conceive, saying: "so virgin or no virgin doesn't guarantee anything."

Justynoble Ben is of the opinion that being a virgin can guarantee a happy marriage to some extent because your husband will always respect and cherish you and with that he will hardly hurt you. "I f I am given such privilege to be a virgin again, I would love to be ," he adds.

Eno Jonah said: " It doesn't guarantee a successful marriage but you'll be happy about not having a dark past. Your husband will always respect you for that, if given another chance I'll still be a virgin for him again ."

"The answer to this question is Yes & No. Being a virgin guarantees a happy home as your hubby will cherish you like gold not only that, he won't have the mind to cheat on you and you also earn respect trust from him. On the other hand, why I say it doesn't guarantee a happy marriage is when you are married to the wrong person. I am a virgin and am very proud of myself, still love to be a virgin again in my next life," Muslihat Obomeghie said.

Another reader named Jane Odukwe said: " My question is the man coming to marry a virgin, is he a virgin? Typical no, so why is he looking for a virgin? Sounds as if making marriage work is made for women alone. What about the men, can't they put effort to see that their marriage works too ."

It is quite understandable that the pressure to remain a virgin till marriage has become more and more difficult in today's world which celebrates waywardness, immorality, indecency and stupidity more than uprightness and decency.

But there are still a number of virgins out there and you can be one of them. If you desire to, all you need to do is make up your mind and determine to keep your virginity till marriage.
Though it is not very easy, it is possible.

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