7 Fascinating Facts About The Hymen

The hymen—the small lining of tissue that partially covers the vaginal opening—is practically synonymous with a slew of lady-part myths: You’re not a virgin if you’ve popped your “cherry”! You’ll bleed the first time you have s*x! Remember those from back in the day?

Sigh. It’s time to get the story straight. Here are the hymen facts you never knew you needed in your life:

1. The Hymen Doesn’t Totally Cover Your v**ina

The most “normal” way the hymen presents itself is as thin tissue just at the bottom of the vaginal opening, says Fahimeh Sasan, doctor of osteopathy, an ob-gyn at The Mount Sinai Hospital in New York. “If someone has tissue that covers the whole opening, that’s called an imperforated hymen,” she says. There are other similar abnormal variants, too, where openings in the tissue are too small.

2. Abnormal Hymens Can Require Surgery

If your hymen is imperforated or separated (where there are two small holes in the tissue), you may need to have a minor surgery, says Sasan. In fact, an imperforated hymen is actually a medical condition—you’re getting your period but don’t have the physical discharge because it can’t pass through, she says. “In a truly perforated hymen, a young woman may say, ‘I’ve never had a period, but I feel like I get cramps.’” The minor surgery can fix the issue.

3. Experts Aren’t Sure of Its Purpose

Your nose helps you smell, and your urethra is where you pee—but the hymen doesn’t appear to serve any major purpose. “Physiologically, it’s there—but from a medical perspective, it’s akin to the foreskin of the man-hood: We’re not sure why it’s there,” says Sasan.

4. It Doesn’t Always Break the First Time You Have s*x

You’ve heard that when you lose your virginity, you also pop your cherry. “One of the big myths is that whether or not someone’s hymen is detached is a sign of virginity,” says Sasan. “That’s not true.” Why? Because there are other ways you can tear it besides s*x. Rigorous exercise, gymnastics, horseback riding, cycling, using large tampons, manipulation with a finger, or a pelvic exam are all possible (but not surefire) ways to tear your hymen, she says.

5. You Might Not Know When It Breaks

When you break your arm, you know the moment it happens—that’s not always the case here, says Sasan. If the tissue does tear during s*x, you may find intercourse painful and experience bleeding, she explains. But if the tear occurs during gymnastics or from wearing large tampons, for example, you may not even be aware of it. “Someone might say, ‘I bled after gymnastics,’ but might just think it’s spotting from her period,” says Sasan.

6. Some Cultures Still Obsess About It

Despite the fact that the hymen isn’t always a sign of virginity, some still treat intact tissue as a sign of purity. “In a lot of cultures, the hymen has become a huge thing,” says Sasan. “People even check before a women gets married to confirm that she’s a virgin.”

7. Once It Tears, You Never Really Deal with It Again

Remember: The hymen is a very small fragment of tissue, says Sasan. And if you do notice it break, it just goes off to the side or sloughs off never to be dealt with again. “In a woman who’s had a baby, you can’t even tell where it would have been,” she says.

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Reasons Men Cheat And What You Can Do About It

I don’t know how many times I’ve seen teary, heartbroken women throw their hands in the air while uttering the words, “If he wasn’t happy, why didn’t he just leave?”

The question in itself contains one very flawed assumption: that he was unhappy. In particular, that he was unhappy with you.

To make matters worse, this sentence is often used as a show of support from well-meaning friends. While their intention is to imply that the cheater is a stupid moron, the words only succeed in reaffirming your warped belief that you’re somehow inadequate — you’re too flawed, stupid, or ugly to make your cheating partner happy enough to be monogamous.

What if I said that the reason your man cheated had absolutely nothing to do with you?

Nope, nothing. Zero. Zip. Nada.

I don’t care if you occasionally nagged, put on a few pounds, or didn’t sleep with him frequently enough. PUH-LEASE. A confident, intelligent man who had a problem with his relationship would deal with the issue by talking to you about it. And if he didn’t get anywhere through talking, he would leave.

But he didn’t. Why?

Because he wasn’t unhappy with you.

Sure, if he gets caught he might try and justify his behavior by reminding you of some f**k-up you made in 1992. But really, that’s just the panic setting in.

The fact is, he went to great lengths so that you wouldn’t find out he was cheating. It would have been a hundred times easier for him to just leave and live the single life.

So why do men cheat? It’s all about self-esteem and the need for external validation.

Yeah, I know… you told him a thousand times that he was awesome. You agreed with that his boss is a jerk and that he’s clearly worth a far higher salary. You’ve told him countless times how good-looking he is, how funny he is, and how great he is in all areas of manliness.

But hang on… I already told you. This isn’t about you.

Of all the people who are likely to boost his self-esteem, it ain’t gonna be you. Why? Because he thinks he’s crap and you’re with him. So how could he ever trust your judgment? He needs to be good enough that other women want him, too.

Does this make it all OK? Hell no. We’re all responsible for our behavior and we all suffer from self-esteem issues. Those of us with a scrap of intelligence and maturity work on ourselves. To constantly seek external validation without taking action is simply lazy. And who could ever find a lazy man remotely appealing?

When it comes to what you should do about it, you have two options:

1. Forgive him, let it go, and stay.

2. Decide that you’re worthy of a more mature, confident man. Decide that even if you don’t find one straightaway, it’s really no big deal to be single. It’s far better than settling for a loser.

I’d far prefer option 2, but really, it’s up to you. But when you make your decision, just be sure to remove love from the equation.

Sometimes we fall head over heels for losers. And we somehow get it in our heads that the love we feel means something. The truth is, more often than not, love makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.

Cry your heart out if you need to. Stay or leave; it’s your choice. But never ask yourself that awful question: “If he wasn’t happy, why didn’t he just leave?”

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Things No One Tells You About Falling In Love With Your Best Friend

When you start to date your best friend, you gain a lot: a protector, undeniable confidence, and a feverish determination to make your relationship work. But you also lose a lot and learn a lot. Read on to find out why taking on the challenge is a tough feat, but at the end of the day, totally worth it.
1. You'll Know Exactly What the Other Person's Thinking, All the Time
You don't need to bother trying to read your own best friend's mind because you already know what he or she is about to say. So while a relationship with somebody new often involves a lot of overanalyzing and sending nerve-racking texts, you won't have to play the guessing game this time around.
2. You'll Wish There Were More Hours in the Day
Time: you're going to want more of it. At first, you won't be able to get enough of each other. Now you can do the things you've always done as friends and things people do as more than friends. While you'll want to spend the whole day together, there are other people in your life who need your lovin' too, like family and the rest of your buddies. Don't forget it.
3. You Won't Stop Making Fun of Each Other
If you've always made fun of his obsession with that one childish video game and he's always picked on you for wearing that "weird" man-repelling top, it's not going to stop now. The only difference is that the teasing will probably end with a kiss on the forehead instead of a playful punch in the arm.
4. There's a Constant Fear You Live With
You could lose the most important person in your life — the one who plays the part of your best friend and boyfriend or girlfriend. If you're fighting with him or her, you might have to tap your mom or another friend for advice. You try not to think about what would happen if this all doesn't work out, but sometimes you do, and sometimes a mighty pang of anxiety comes along with it.
5. Dinner Plans Will Be Incredibly Easy
Planning your first dinner "date" will go something like this: "Wanna get pizza from that place we tried that time?" "Yeah." And you'll probably split the bill, just like you always have. And you'll feel totally comfortable stuffing your face in front of each other, just like you always have.
6. You'll Fight a Lot Sooner Than You Expected
You've never been afraid to tell this person how you feel, and that's not about to change now that you've entered a romantic relationship. If you're angry about something, there's less of a chance you'll hide it and more of a chance you'll lay it on the line. Your best friend already knows what irks you and when to stop pushing your buttons. And you won't hesitate to remind them, lest they forget.
7. You'll Start to Care About How You Look in Front of Them, Even If You Didn't Before
Your best friend's probably seen you in your sweats with no makeup on plenty of times. Because really, you never put a second thought into how you looked. But now, you'll have fun getting dressed up and feeling sexy in front of your SO. There's a newfound level of attraction there, and you'll really enjoy it.
8. It's Worth It
No one ever tells you to go ahead and fall in love with your best friend because of the risk factor. If all goes wrong and things end badly, there's the chance you'll lose someone who's a very important part of your life. But you'll also never know a bond as strong as the one you share with someone who truly cares about you, supports you, laughs with you, and also happens to be in love with you. There are a lot of crazy decisions you'll make in life. If you get the chance, you should totally let this be one of them
ORANGE MUSIC

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Ways To Spot A Stingy Nigerian Man

Everyone knows its the duty of a real man to take care of his woman both emotionally and financially. No matter how broke a guy is, there must be something he should be able to do for his woman. When a man can't give out a dime of his money to his woman, there's no other name for that kind of a man, than 'stingy'. As part of our responsibility to enlighten you, these are 5 ways to spot such men…
– If your guy always forgets his wallet or ATM card at home or always comes up with one excuse or the other not to pay for stuff, there's only one simple way to describe your man, 'Stingy'.
– If your guy always expects you to cook him something nice but never 'ever' drops money to make the food happen. We're sorry, your guy is stingy.
– If you get on a bus with your man and when the conductor asks for money, he suddenly drops into a coma or never has change in his wallet. Oh please, he's just stingy and cocky.
– If your man would never ever, not even for once bring up the idea of taking you to someone fancy especially on special occasions like your birthday, valentines day, anniversaries etc. This shows beyond any iota of doubt that he's stingy.
– If your man always talks about giving you the world when he 'blows' but can not spare the little money he has now to support you little needs. He's not just broke, he's broke and stingy.
So ladies if you can relate to the above, well, the choice is yours to make…
ORANGE MUSIC

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11 Things Your Wife Needs From You But Doesn’t Want To Ask

The good news is your wife isn’t nagging you about these things. The bad news is that she still needs them, but doesn’t want to ask. In your quest to love, honor and cherish your wife, here are a few ways you can give her the signs of affections she really needs but is too afraid to ask.



Respect

No matter what, she needs and deserves your respect. You’ll never see eye to eye with your wife on everything, so don’t drive a wedge between you determining who is right or wrong. If you have a disagreement, hear her out respectfully. Your wife wants you to listen to her ideas and give them serious consideration. Dr. Amy Bellows says, “Respect allows you to accept another person’s point of view whole-heartedly.”

Intimacy

It’s true men typically think of intimacy in terms of s*x. Women generally view intimacy as an emotional closeness. Take the time to meet her need for intimacy by steps as simple as enjoying a hobby together. Therapist Fran Fisher offers couple exercises to recharge your emotional intimacy. The good news is, when you work to improve her idea of intimacy, your idea of intimacy will improve as well. It’s a win-win.

Two minutes of undivided attention

While women tend to multitask well, men are often good at focusing on one thing at a time. These qualities complement each other. To make this difference work for your marriage, take time to focus on her when she is talking to you. First, look up from what you are doing, and second, listen. Really listen. Don’t just pretend and nod your head. Focus your attention on her and what she is saying. There likely will be a pop quiz on the information later.

Secret signal

Coaches can communicate with their teams from the sidelines. Take a page from his playbook and come up with a discreet way to say, “I love you” and use it often when you’re in public.

Confidence

Even if you consider your wife to be your equal in every way, she needs you to be strong and confident. Warning: Don’t confuse this as overbearing and brutish. A study in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin

showed that men who are confident without being arrogant are more attractive to women.

Shared vision

The adage is opposites attract, but the truth is that common goals keep a relationship strong. Setting and achieving goals keeps both partners engaged in the marriage and helps to see past the immediate obstacles that will inevitably come your way.

A dynamic relationship

The middle years of a relationship can feel like treading water. But, like floating in the ocean, you’re still moving. If you don’t make an effort to grow together, you will find yourself drifting apart. There is no standing still.

Spiritual leadership in your home

Whether religious or agnostic, women are, by nature, more in tune with spiritual matters. This means you have to work at keeping up. If your wife attends a worship service, go with her without complaining. Initiate the invitation to pray together at home. In their book, The Soul-Mate Marriage: The Spiritual Journey of Becoming One, authors David and Lisa Frisbee outline the importance of both partners being spiritually invested in the relationship.

Your shower gel

Her sense of smell is keener than yours. There’s a reason shower gel marketed toward teen boys do so well. Hint: It’s because teen girls — and women — like the smell of a just-washed man.

A best friend

Though you may golf with your buddies every now and then, she needs to talk to her best friend everyday. She needs a bestie who listens to her, who opens up to her and who she can talk to everyday. Acknowledge her need for a best friend and give them time together. She also needs you to be the best friend she can trust. You don’t have to abandon all manliness, but taking a few steps to become her best friend will go a long way.

A good laugh every day

Laughing releases endorphins. We love people who make us smile. Express your affection in silly ways. Be playful in your relationship and have fun together. In the words of actress Joanne Woodward, “Sexiness wears thin after awhile and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who makes you laugh every day, ah, now that is a treat.”

A little indulgence every now and then

Every once in a while, she just needs a break. Take time to give her a little royal treatment. A nice foot massage, dinner out, or a night in reading a good book may be all she needs to rejuvenate her mind and get the rest and relaxation she needs.

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How Your Zodiac Sign Influences The Way You Deal With Being Single

Can you handle being alone?

choose to stay single or marry later.

It makes sense. Nowadays, there is less pressure to marry and have babies. Casual dating is no longer frowned upon as it was before. Women, especially, now take their dating life into their own hands. And relationships, well, they’ve become a little … scary.

Are you the type who prefers the single life, or do you absolutely need someone else in your life? Zodiac sign offer a window into our personalities, and believe it or not, determine how you handle the single life.

Here’s how each star sign handles their single status:

Aries (March 21 – April 19): As an independent sign, anyone born under Aries is not a fan of being tied down. These natural leaders prefer calling the shots, so they don’t mind being single. The solo life frees them up to do whatever they want, on their own terms.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20): Taurus is another sign that values independence and autonomy. Though more typically followers, strong-willed Tauruses prefer doing things their way and get irritated when told otherwise. They value consistency, so shifting suddenly into a relationship after being single for so long scares them. Likewise, being suddenly single after being in a relationship, rattles them quite a bit.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20): A strong, fiercely independent sign, Geminis are energetic, impulsive, and very restless. They don’t like being tied down, and get easily bored, even within seemingly satisfying relationships. As a result, they tend to prefer casual dating with little or no commitment.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22): Super complicated souls, Cancers, on one hand, relish their independence, so being single is not a problem. But on the other, they’re also fairly dependent and need someone to care for them and support them in handling their emotional issues, which means ultimately they cannot stand remaining single.

Leo (July 23 – August 22): Although Leos pride themselves on being fairly independent, they actually can’t be left alone for two reasons: One, they’re proud and vain, so someone needs to keep them tied down. Two, they thrive on praise and admiration and like to keep someone around to do that constant admiring. They rarely stay single for long.

Virgo (August 23 – September 22): Interesting and complex, Virgos approach situations with an analytical mind and therefore see the practical upside of being single. And when they do decide to date, they go through every possible reasons why things will go wrong, which makes it hard to find someone.

Libra (September 23 – October 22): Unlike the previous signs, Libras love people! They’re independent thinkers, but when it comes to connection versus solitude, this sign definitely prefers being partnered and with lots of people. Like Leos, they also thrive on admiration, which is why they just can’t help falling in love with anyone who fulfills this need. Being single is merely a transition phase for them.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21): Scorpios are ambitious and suspicious. They prefer being on their own, and are too busy with their own lives to think about another person. It takes a lot of effort to gain the trust of a Scorpio (but when you do, they are extremely loyal). They enjoy occasional companionship, but ultimately prefer the single life so they can live their life the way they want.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21): Sagittarius souls love people, but dislike commitment. They crave freedom and adventure, so unless someone can provide those or happily goes along for the ride, Sags do just fine living the single life.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): Very distrustful (like Scorpios) cautious Capricorns feel confident about their own abilities and don’t need the praise or admiration of a partner (unlike Leos and Libras). As a result, solitude suits Capricorns just fine.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18): Aquarius, like Gemini and Sagittarius, are commitment-phobes. Known for never giving themselves fully to anyone they date, Aquarius keep their distance at all times even when they adore you. They love their freedom and independence more, so you’ll find them living quite contentedly on their own.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20): Out of all the signs, Pisces NEED a relationship most. Staying single is a danger to their emotional health. Since they’re extremely sensitive and self-pitying, they need a partner who can comfort and motivate them, because they don’t believe in themselves. A Pisces resists being single at every turn.

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3 Stages ALL Relationships Must Go Through To Be Successful

Is your relationship really failing … or is it just evolving? (As it’s meant to!)

Are you married, engaged or in a committed relationship right now? What brought you two together? What is keeping you together?

Most of us base our attraction to others on their looks, s*x appeal or personality, but we are unaware of how our life force energy also contributes to lasting success in love.

Do you know any long-term couples who still radiate love and appreciation for each other? If so, how do they do it?

Energy Psychologist, Dr. David Feinstein, and his wife, Energy Specialist Donna Eden—a couple who practice what they preach—say that EVERY successful love relationship goes through 3 phases:

Wild Passion

Disappointment and Reckoning

Deepening and Flowing

Feinstein and Eden explain what attracts us to each other and how to brave the ups and downs of love relationships in their book, The Energies of Love.

1. Wild Passion

This part is easy. Usually good looks attract us initially. Stage 1 is a time of excitement and romance. However, many people seek my professional help when, after the first glow of passion starts to fade, they find themselves in the midst of Stage 2, feeling challenged and disappointed when they realize their happily-ever-after fantasies are an illusion.

My job is to coach couples in using Energy Psychology methods (especially EFT acupressure tapping) to heal their wounds, communicate better with each other, and appreciate what brought them together in the first place, so they can enter the third phase of deepening and commitment.

2. Disappointment and Reckoning

When the magic fades, disappointments may appear and resentments grow. The partner you once found exciting now may seem boring. Habits that you thought were sweet now drive you up the wall. Maybe your partner has gained weight and doesn’t look sexy anymore. Or, he never got that promotion at work and is not making enough money to support the family in the style you expected. Have parenting obligations begun to push you apart?

The way to get through the disappointment stage is by learning how to recognize and honor your differences and incompatibilities in a supportive, caring constructive manner. The first step is to look for the echoes of what you once had.

For example, Linda and Kevin created a wonderful ritual that not only got them through Stage 2, but also continued to help them deepen their love as they entered Stage 3. Every year on their anniversary they went away to a beautiful getaway in order to take stock of their marriage. In this neutral setting, they honored what was strong and loving in their relationship and also identified the stresses they were encountering.

First, Linda and Kevin reminisced about how they met, shared what qualities were special in their spouse, and talked about what they still appreciated and loved. Next, they paid attention to any stresses that were eroding their good feelings. Sometimes what seemed an insignificant negative trait in the early days of passion, can grow into a painful wound if not addressed. Linda and Kevin used EFT acupressure tapping to change the future of their relationship by refusing to stay stuck in negative emotions toward each other.

3. Deepening and Flowing

You might want to try what worked for them in order to deal with your doldrums. You can perform your relationship check-up anywhere, at any time; however, it works best if you find a place and time where you won’t be interrupted.

Begin by reminiscing about how you met. What attracted you to each other? Share what good qualities you still cherish. In my article, Driving Each Other Crazy? It’s In Your DNA, I point out the ways we are different from our spouses or lovers that are part of our temperament and will never change. Share one of the things you dislike about your lover. Rate how upset you feel from 0-10 as you bring it to mind.

Instead of fighting over this ongoing stress, use EFT Tapping. Tap the outside edge of your hand saying, “Even though I hate it when you ____ (fill in your complaint), I still love the way you ____ (state something you love and admire in him or her).” Do this 3 times and then tap each of these other points on your head and torso for 3 seconds while you picture your partner acting the way that drives you nuts:

Crown of the head
Eyebrow: the beginning of the eyebrow nearest the nose
Side of eye on the bone outside the outer corner of the eye socket
Under the eye above the cheekbone
Under the nose
Under the lower lip
Under the collarbone
4 inches under the armpit on the side of the body
Tap around these points 3 times. When you finish take a deep breath and notice what happened. Did you observe any changes in your thoughts, emotions or sensations? If you started at an upset rated 9, is it still a 9 or less?

Complete a few more rounds of gentle tapping focused on the same topic. The goal is to reach zero, which means that you are able to acknowledge that your lover is doing the best he or she can, and you are no longer angry or resentful. You can accept him or her as they are today, that they are doing the best they can.

When you tap these acupressure points, it helps you relax and release tension, anger or fear. When that happens you may find that your thoughts become clearer. For example, as you tap you may realize that you, too, have behaviors or beliefs that make your significant other feel upset with you.

In addition to taking stock of your relationship, you might decide to make plans to share activities that you enjoy together and that enrich your life together. Don’t wait to perform a relationship tune-up once a year—you may want to clear the air once every 3 or 6 months if needed. It’s an easy way to reinforce your loving energy and keep your love alive and thriving.i

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