7 Fascinating Facts About The Hymen

The hymen—the small lining of tissue that partially covers the vaginal opening—is practically synonymous with a slew of lady-part myths: You’re not a virgin if you’ve popped your “cherry”! You’ll bleed the first time you have s*x! Remember those from back in the day?

Sigh. It’s time to get the story straight. Here are the hymen facts you never knew you needed in your life:

1. The Hymen Doesn’t Totally Cover Your v**ina

The most “normal” way the hymen presents itself is as thin tissue just at the bottom of the vaginal opening, says Fahimeh Sasan, doctor of osteopathy, an ob-gyn at The Mount Sinai Hospital in New York. “If someone has tissue that covers the whole opening, that’s called an imperforated hymen,” she says. There are other similar abnormal variants, too, where openings in the tissue are too small.

2. Abnormal Hymens Can Require Surgery

If your hymen is imperforated or separated (where there are two small holes in the tissue), you may need to have a minor surgery, says Sasan. In fact, an imperforated hymen is actually a medical condition—you’re getting your period but don’t have the physical discharge because it can’t pass through, she says. “In a truly perforated hymen, a young woman may say, ‘I’ve never had a period, but I feel like I get cramps.’” The minor surgery can fix the issue.

3. Experts Aren’t Sure of Its Purpose

Your nose helps you smell, and your urethra is where you pee—but the hymen doesn’t appear to serve any major purpose. “Physiologically, it’s there—but from a medical perspective, it’s akin to the foreskin of the man-hood: We’re not sure why it’s there,” says Sasan.

4. It Doesn’t Always Break the First Time You Have s*x

You’ve heard that when you lose your virginity, you also pop your cherry. “One of the big myths is that whether or not someone’s hymen is detached is a sign of virginity,” says Sasan. “That’s not true.” Why? Because there are other ways you can tear it besides s*x. Rigorous exercise, gymnastics, horseback riding, cycling, using large tampons, manipulation with a finger, or a pelvic exam are all possible (but not surefire) ways to tear your hymen, she says.

5. You Might Not Know When It Breaks

When you break your arm, you know the moment it happens—that’s not always the case here, says Sasan. If the tissue does tear during s*x, you may find intercourse painful and experience bleeding, she explains. But if the tear occurs during gymnastics or from wearing large tampons, for example, you may not even be aware of it. “Someone might say, ‘I bled after gymnastics,’ but might just think it’s spotting from her period,” says Sasan.

6. Some Cultures Still Obsess About It

Despite the fact that the hymen isn’t always a sign of virginity, some still treat intact tissue as a sign of purity. “In a lot of cultures, the hymen has become a huge thing,” says Sasan. “People even check before a women gets married to confirm that she’s a virgin.”

7. Once It Tears, You Never Really Deal with It Again

Remember: The hymen is a very small fragment of tissue, says Sasan. And if you do notice it break, it just goes off to the side or sloughs off never to be dealt with again. “In a woman who’s had a baby, you can’t even tell where it would have been,” she says.

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Reasons Men Cheat And What You Can Do About It

I don’t know how many times I’ve seen teary, heartbroken women throw their hands in the air while uttering the words, “If he wasn’t happy, why didn’t he just leave?”

The question in itself contains one very flawed assumption: that he was unhappy. In particular, that he was unhappy with you.

To make matters worse, this sentence is often used as a show of support from well-meaning friends. While their intention is to imply that the cheater is a stupid moron, the words only succeed in reaffirming your warped belief that you’re somehow inadequate — you’re too flawed, stupid, or ugly to make your cheating partner happy enough to be monogamous.

What if I said that the reason your man cheated had absolutely nothing to do with you?

Nope, nothing. Zero. Zip. Nada.

I don’t care if you occasionally nagged, put on a few pounds, or didn’t sleep with him frequently enough. PUH-LEASE. A confident, intelligent man who had a problem with his relationship would deal with the issue by talking to you about it. And if he didn’t get anywhere through talking, he would leave.

But he didn’t. Why?

Because he wasn’t unhappy with you.

Sure, if he gets caught he might try and justify his behavior by reminding you of some f**k-up you made in 1992. But really, that’s just the panic setting in.

The fact is, he went to great lengths so that you wouldn’t find out he was cheating. It would have been a hundred times easier for him to just leave and live the single life.

So why do men cheat? It’s all about self-esteem and the need for external validation.

Yeah, I know… you told him a thousand times that he was awesome. You agreed with that his boss is a jerk and that he’s clearly worth a far higher salary. You’ve told him countless times how good-looking he is, how funny he is, and how great he is in all areas of manliness.

But hang on… I already told you. This isn’t about you.

Of all the people who are likely to boost his self-esteem, it ain’t gonna be you. Why? Because he thinks he’s crap and you’re with him. So how could he ever trust your judgment? He needs to be good enough that other women want him, too.

Does this make it all OK? Hell no. We’re all responsible for our behavior and we all suffer from self-esteem issues. Those of us with a scrap of intelligence and maturity work on ourselves. To constantly seek external validation without taking action is simply lazy. And who could ever find a lazy man remotely appealing?

When it comes to what you should do about it, you have two options:

1. Forgive him, let it go, and stay.

2. Decide that you’re worthy of a more mature, confident man. Decide that even if you don’t find one straightaway, it’s really no big deal to be single. It’s far better than settling for a loser.

I’d far prefer option 2, but really, it’s up to you. But when you make your decision, just be sure to remove love from the equation.

Sometimes we fall head over heels for losers. And we somehow get it in our heads that the love we feel means something. The truth is, more often than not, love makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.

Cry your heart out if you need to. Stay or leave; it’s your choice. But never ask yourself that awful question: “If he wasn’t happy, why didn’t he just leave?”

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Things No One Tells You About Falling In Love With Your Best Friend

When you start to date your best friend, you gain a lot: a protector, undeniable confidence, and a feverish determination to make your relationship work. But you also lose a lot and learn a lot. Read on to find out why taking on the challenge is a tough feat, but at the end of the day, totally worth it.
1. You'll Know Exactly What the Other Person's Thinking, All the Time
You don't need to bother trying to read your own best friend's mind because you already know what he or she is about to say. So while a relationship with somebody new often involves a lot of overanalyzing and sending nerve-racking texts, you won't have to play the guessing game this time around.
2. You'll Wish There Were More Hours in the Day
Time: you're going to want more of it. At first, you won't be able to get enough of each other. Now you can do the things you've always done as friends and things people do as more than friends. While you'll want to spend the whole day together, there are other people in your life who need your lovin' too, like family and the rest of your buddies. Don't forget it.
3. You Won't Stop Making Fun of Each Other
If you've always made fun of his obsession with that one childish video game and he's always picked on you for wearing that "weird" man-repelling top, it's not going to stop now. The only difference is that the teasing will probably end with a kiss on the forehead instead of a playful punch in the arm.
4. There's a Constant Fear You Live With
You could lose the most important person in your life — the one who plays the part of your best friend and boyfriend or girlfriend. If you're fighting with him or her, you might have to tap your mom or another friend for advice. You try not to think about what would happen if this all doesn't work out, but sometimes you do, and sometimes a mighty pang of anxiety comes along with it.
5. Dinner Plans Will Be Incredibly Easy
Planning your first dinner "date" will go something like this: "Wanna get pizza from that place we tried that time?" "Yeah." And you'll probably split the bill, just like you always have. And you'll feel totally comfortable stuffing your face in front of each other, just like you always have.
6. You'll Fight a Lot Sooner Than You Expected
You've never been afraid to tell this person how you feel, and that's not about to change now that you've entered a romantic relationship. If you're angry about something, there's less of a chance you'll hide it and more of a chance you'll lay it on the line. Your best friend already knows what irks you and when to stop pushing your buttons. And you won't hesitate to remind them, lest they forget.
7. You'll Start to Care About How You Look in Front of Them, Even If You Didn't Before
Your best friend's probably seen you in your sweats with no makeup on plenty of times. Because really, you never put a second thought into how you looked. But now, you'll have fun getting dressed up and feeling sexy in front of your SO. There's a newfound level of attraction there, and you'll really enjoy it.
8. It's Worth It
No one ever tells you to go ahead and fall in love with your best friend because of the risk factor. If all goes wrong and things end badly, there's the chance you'll lose someone who's a very important part of your life. But you'll also never know a bond as strong as the one you share with someone who truly cares about you, supports you, laughs with you, and also happens to be in love with you. There are a lot of crazy decisions you'll make in life. If you get the chance, you should totally let this be one of them
ORANGE MUSIC

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Ways To Spot A Stingy Nigerian Man

Everyone knows its the duty of a real man to take care of his woman both emotionally and financially. No matter how broke a guy is, there must be something he should be able to do for his woman. When a man can't give out a dime of his money to his woman, there's no other name for that kind of a man, than 'stingy'. As part of our responsibility to enlighten you, these are 5 ways to spot such men…
– If your guy always forgets his wallet or ATM card at home or always comes up with one excuse or the other not to pay for stuff, there's only one simple way to describe your man, 'Stingy'.
– If your guy always expects you to cook him something nice but never 'ever' drops money to make the food happen. We're sorry, your guy is stingy.
– If you get on a bus with your man and when the conductor asks for money, he suddenly drops into a coma or never has change in his wallet. Oh please, he's just stingy and cocky.
– If your man would never ever, not even for once bring up the idea of taking you to someone fancy especially on special occasions like your birthday, valentines day, anniversaries etc. This shows beyond any iota of doubt that he's stingy.
– If your man always talks about giving you the world when he 'blows' but can not spare the little money he has now to support you little needs. He's not just broke, he's broke and stingy.
So ladies if you can relate to the above, well, the choice is yours to make…
ORANGE MUSIC

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11 Things Your Wife Needs From You But Doesn’t Want To Ask

The good news is your wife isn’t nagging you about these things. The bad news is that she still needs them, but doesn’t want to ask. In your quest to love, honor and cherish your wife, here are a few ways you can give her the signs of affections she really needs but is too afraid to ask.



Respect

No matter what, she needs and deserves your respect. You’ll never see eye to eye with your wife on everything, so don’t drive a wedge between you determining who is right or wrong. If you have a disagreement, hear her out respectfully. Your wife wants you to listen to her ideas and give them serious consideration. Dr. Amy Bellows says, “Respect allows you to accept another person’s point of view whole-heartedly.”

Intimacy

It’s true men typically think of intimacy in terms of s*x. Women generally view intimacy as an emotional closeness. Take the time to meet her need for intimacy by steps as simple as enjoying a hobby together. Therapist Fran Fisher offers couple exercises to recharge your emotional intimacy. The good news is, when you work to improve her idea of intimacy, your idea of intimacy will improve as well. It’s a win-win.

Two minutes of undivided attention

While women tend to multitask well, men are often good at focusing on one thing at a time. These qualities complement each other. To make this difference work for your marriage, take time to focus on her when she is talking to you. First, look up from what you are doing, and second, listen. Really listen. Don’t just pretend and nod your head. Focus your attention on her and what she is saying. There likely will be a pop quiz on the information later.

Secret signal

Coaches can communicate with their teams from the sidelines. Take a page from his playbook and come up with a discreet way to say, “I love you” and use it often when you’re in public.

Confidence

Even if you consider your wife to be your equal in every way, she needs you to be strong and confident. Warning: Don’t confuse this as overbearing and brutish. A study in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin

showed that men who are confident without being arrogant are more attractive to women.

Shared vision

The adage is opposites attract, but the truth is that common goals keep a relationship strong. Setting and achieving goals keeps both partners engaged in the marriage and helps to see past the immediate obstacles that will inevitably come your way.

A dynamic relationship

The middle years of a relationship can feel like treading water. But, like floating in the ocean, you’re still moving. If you don’t make an effort to grow together, you will find yourself drifting apart. There is no standing still.

Spiritual leadership in your home

Whether religious or agnostic, women are, by nature, more in tune with spiritual matters. This means you have to work at keeping up. If your wife attends a worship service, go with her without complaining. Initiate the invitation to pray together at home. In their book, The Soul-Mate Marriage: The Spiritual Journey of Becoming One, authors David and Lisa Frisbee outline the importance of both partners being spiritually invested in the relationship.

Your shower gel

Her sense of smell is keener than yours. There’s a reason shower gel marketed toward teen boys do so well. Hint: It’s because teen girls — and women — like the smell of a just-washed man.

A best friend

Though you may golf with your buddies every now and then, she needs to talk to her best friend everyday. She needs a bestie who listens to her, who opens up to her and who she can talk to everyday. Acknowledge her need for a best friend and give them time together. She also needs you to be the best friend she can trust. You don’t have to abandon all manliness, but taking a few steps to become her best friend will go a long way.

A good laugh every day

Laughing releases endorphins. We love people who make us smile. Express your affection in silly ways. Be playful in your relationship and have fun together. In the words of actress Joanne Woodward, “Sexiness wears thin after awhile and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who makes you laugh every day, ah, now that is a treat.”

A little indulgence every now and then

Every once in a while, she just needs a break. Take time to give her a little royal treatment. A nice foot massage, dinner out, or a night in reading a good book may be all she needs to rejuvenate her mind and get the rest and relaxation she needs.

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